


To Tell You I Love You

by Sarek and Amanda Archive Maintainer (Selek)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M, Maximum (author)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:30:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4870133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selek/pseuds/Sarek%20and%20Amanda%20Archive%20Maintainer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things I should have said.</p>
<p>Written by Maximum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Tell You I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching T’Guess’ vid about the kal-if-fe and that song stuck in my head. I know it’s not quite that same story, but this is the result. So, thank you to Sarah McLachlan for the lovely song, and thank you T’Guess for using it. P.S. All mistakes are my own.

To Tell You I Love You

‘My Dearest Amanda,

I have no doubt that you are wondering why I am writing this letter. Yesterday I overheard Spock telling Nyota that he loved her. Curiosity overcame me so I approached her and asked her why. Surely the bond would reassure her of his devotion? She explained that as a ‘needy Human’ she still liked to be told occasionally. I realise that I have been remiss in this matter. I have been too reliant on your understanding, and made little allowance for your Humanity. 

I should have told you.

As you know, I have always found it difficult to express my emotions. I am not trying to excuse myself, merely explaining. I did sometimes try to tell you in the Human fashion but I had to gee myself up to it as you put it, and every time I tried something always came up that seemed more important at the time. After all, we had our bond. It could wait. 

Do you know just how much I love you? When I broached the subject of our marriage to T’Pau I had to use all my powers of persuasion and logic to convince her to allow it. You know how much family and tradition mean to me, but if she had refused permission I would have walked away without a backward glance. I would have gladly become outcast to be with you. You are my night, my day, my aduna, my ashayam. My kanok-vel. 

Since meeting you my life has changed in so many ways and I thank you for that. You have given me the ability to see the universe from another being’s perspective. You taught me that the Vulcan way is not necessarily the best way, a belief that was so deeply ingrained in me I did not even realise I held it. Even my Time, once to be endured at best, became something to be celebrated and enjoyed. 

Thank you for our son, and thank you for ignoring my edict about him. If you had not Spock and I would never have been reconciled. One of my few regrets is that I ignored your advice about Sybok.

Our years together have been a wondrous time. I know that at some time in the future I shall have to take another but, no matter how special a person she may be, she will never engender the love that I feel for you. 

 

Yours, until the end of time,  
Sarek.’

Sarek sealed the letter and placed it in Amanda’s hands. He signalled the attendant who stepped forward and closed the coffin lid.


End file.
